Issue #01 · Winter '26 Crowd Studios Underground Press
free*
Part satire · part therapy

The Benchmark

A weekly super-secret underground zine
SPILLING THE (ALLEGED) L&D TEA
/// In this issue
/// any resemblance to your workplace is statistically inevitable

“This is about me, isn't it.”

— Director, name withheld by request
/// feedback window now closed

“I had some thoughts.”

— Executive back from European vacation (project ended before they left)
/// may contain traces of lived experience

“I was in the room when this happened.”

— Anonymous (noting it was too soon for a Hamilton pun)
/// no learning designers were consulted in the making of this

“Consistent with our experience.”

— Learning Designers
/// your engagement has been noted

“I only opened it by accident.”

— Now enrolled in SME program indefinitely
You're not the only one who screams into a pillow

It all starts with a feeling, somewhere deep inside, a place that you rarely access. To start, it just sounds a bit like a dull hum, some light teeth grinding, then before you know it, you're shooting up out of your chair shouting, "NO Brian, we cannot 'just make it a quick %^&ing video.' NOTHING you have ever suggested has been quick."

The Benchmark is here to help you avoid such career-limiting moves. Let's face it — as much as we all love this industry and want to make change. We know Brian is 'in charge' but isn't always the fastest-moving mammal in the herd, and we've all got rent to pay.

So take that frustration and use it as an opportunity to hold up a mirror to the absurdities we've inadvertently normalised in our industry. Along the way we might be reminded there's a better way to work, or a different way of thinking. We might finally accept that our pillows have been through enough — and instead, introduce some small act of rebellion against the status quo.

I used to just 'scream into a pillow' when I got home from work each day. Now I have The Benchmark weekly to help me see the hilarious side of the workplace learning industry. I've even stopped pretending not to notice Brian trying to unmute for a full ninety seconds when I ask the group for feedback.

— Anon
The Benchmark · Crowd Studios Underground Press Crowd Studios Pty Ltd · ABN 65 681 427 154 · *free, obviously

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